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Life

And so we say goodbye

I love you, buddy And so we say goodbye to our beloved pet, Nibbler, who's gone to a place where I, too, hope one day to go. The toilet. File not found. Have you ever tried just turning off the TV, sitting down with your children, and hitting them?Now, now. Perfectly symmetrical violence never solved…

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Tonight’s the night

Rorschach would say you have a hard time relating to others. I like seafood. I'm really more an apartment person. I'm generally confused most of the time. I'm Dexter, and I'm not sure what I am. I'm going to tell you something that I've never told anyone before. Under normal circumstances, I'd take that as…

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With a warning label

Son, as your lawyer, I declare y'all are in a 12-piece bucket o' trouble. But I done struck you a deal: Five hours of community service cleanin' up that ol' mess you caused. You're going to do his laundry? Say what? No! I want to live! There are still too many things I don't own!…

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Doomsday Devices

There's one way and only one way to determine if an animal is intelligent. Dissect its brain! Stop it, stop it. It's fine. I will 'destroy' you! Why yes! Thanks for noticing. No, just a regular mistake. These old Doomsday Devices are dangerously unstable. I'll rest easier not knowing where they are. I've been there.…

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