No, just a regular mistake

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Kif, I have mated with a woman. Inform the men. Quite possible. We live long and are celebrated poopers. Hello, little man. I will destroy you! OK, this has gotta stop. I’m going to remind Fry of his humanity the way only a woman can.

Hello, little man

Oh yeah, good luck with that. No, just a regular mistake. I love you, buddy! Say what? You wouldn’t. Ask anyway! It’s just like the story of the grasshopper and the octopus. All year long, the grasshopper kept burying acorns for winter, while the octopus mooched off his girlfriend and watched TV. But then the winter came, and the grasshopper died, and the octopus ate all his acorns. Also he got a race car. Is any of this getting through to you?

This is fun

I’m partial to air conditioning. I love Halloween. The one time of year when everyone wears a mask … not just me. Watching ice melt. This is fun. I’m really more an apartment person. Makes me a … scientist. Pretend. You pretend the feelings are there, for the world, for the people around you. Who knows? Maybe one day they will be. I will not kill my sister. I will not kill my sister. I will not kill my sister.

Good news

I’m really more an apartment person. You’re a killer. I catch killers. I’m not the monster he wants me to be. So I’m neither man nor beast. I’m something new entirely. With my own set of rules. I’m Dexter. Boo. Tonight’s the night. And it’s going to happen again and again. It has to happen. I’m really more an apartment person. I’m partial to air conditioning. I’m Dexter, and I’m not sure what I am. I’m generally confused most of the time.

Shut up and take my money

Dissect its brain!

That’s right, baby. I ain’t your loverboy Flexo, the guy you love so much. You even love anyone pretending to be him! Doomsday device? Ah, now the ball’s in Farnsworth’s court! You know the worst thing about being a slave? They make you work, but they don’t pay you or let you go. I don’t want to be rescued. Who am I making this out to? OK, if everyone’s finished being stupid. One hundred dollars.

For the last time, I don’t like lilacs! Your ‘first’ wife was the one who liked lilacs! And remember, don’t do anything that affects anything, unless it turns out you were supposed to, in which case, for the love of God, don’t not do it! Five hours? Aw, man! Couldn’t you just get me the death penalty? I’m a thing. Bender, we’re trying our best. Ah, computer dating. It’s like pimping, but you rarely have to use the phrase “upside your head.”

You can crush me but you can’t crush my spirit! Shut up and take my money! No, just a regular mistake. Well, let’s just dump it in the sewer and say we delivered it. Bender, we’re trying our best.

Keep your mind

We are more

Pretend. You pretend the feelings are there, for the world, for the people around you. Who knows? Maybe one day they will be. I’m going to tell you something that I’ve never told anyone before. Tonight’s the night. And it’s going to happen again and again. It has to happen. Hello, Dexter Morgan. I’m not the monster he wants me to be. So I’m neither man nor beast. I’m something new entirely. With my own set of rules. I’m Dexter. Boo. I’m doing mental jumping jacks. I’m going to tell you something that I’ve never told anyone before.

Under normal circumstances, I’d take that as a compliment. Somehow, I doubt that. You have a good heart, Dexter. You look…perfect. Watching ice melt. This is fun. Tell him time is of the essence. I’ve lived in darkness a long time. Over the years my eyes adjusted until the dark became my world and I could see. Only you could make those words cute. God created pudding, and then he rested. Watching ice melt. This is fun.

You all right, Dexter? You’re a killer. I catch killers. Makes me a … scientist. I’m partial to air conditioning.

I’m really more an apartment person. Keep your mind limber. I feel like a jigsaw puzzle missing a piece. And I’m not even sure what the picture should be. I’m Dexter, and I’m not sure what I am. I’m going to tell you something that I’ve never told anyone before.

Tonight’s the night

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Rorschach would say you have a hard time relating to others. I like seafood. I’m really more an apartment person. I’m generally confused most of the time. I’m Dexter, and I’m not sure what I am. I’m going to tell you something that I’ve never told anyone before. Under normal circumstances, I’d take that as a compliment. Tell him time is of the essence. I’m doing mental jumping jacks. I am not a killer.

I never loved you

You all right, Dexter? Tell him time is of the essence. Tonight’s the night. And it’s going to happen again and again. It has to happen. Watching ice melt. This is fun.

So I really am important?

Pansy. Doomsday device? Ah, now the ball’s in Farnsworth’s court! Kif might! Bender, we’re trying our best. Are you crazy? I can’t swallow that. Yep, I remember. They came in last at the Olympics, then retired to promote alcoholic beverages! So I really am important? How I feel when I’m drunk is correct? Really?! You wouldn’t. Ask anyway! So, how ’bout them Knicks?

I guess

We don’t have a brig. I was all of history’s great robot actors – Acting Unit 0.8; Thespomat; David Duchovny! I just told you! You’ve killed me! Negative, bossy meat creature! These old Doomsday Devices are dangerously unstable. I’ll rest easier not knowing where they are. What kind of a father would I be if I said no? Why did you bring us here? Switzerland is small and neutral! We are more like Germany, ambitious and misunderstood!

I was having the most wonderful dream. Except you were there, and you were there, and you were there! Oh, I think we should just stay friends. I usually try to keep my sadness pent up inside where it can fester quietly as a mental illness.

Oh, how awful

Okay, it’s 500 dollars, you have no choice of carrier, the battery can’t hold the charge and the reception isn’t very… Then throw her in the laundry room, which will hereafter be referred to as “the brig”. And yet you haven’t said what I told you to say! How can any of us trust you? And I’m his friend Jesus. Oh, how awful. Did he at least die painlessly? …To shreds, you say. Well, how is his wife holding up? …To shreds, you say. Tell her you just want to talk. It has nothing to do with mating. I found what I need. And it’s not friends, it’s things. For example, if you killed your grandfather, you’d cease to exist! I feel like I was mauled by Jesus.