You wouldn’t be there

Ah, the ‘Breakfast Club’ soundtrack! I can’t wait til I’m old enough to feel ways about stuff! Okay, I like a challenge. Yeah, lots of people did. Guards! Bring me the forms I need to fill out to have her taken away! I saw you with those two “ladies of the evening” at Elzars. Explain that. I found what I need. And it’s not friends, it’s things. Oh, how awful. Did he at least die painlessly? …To shreds, you say. Well, how is his wife holding up? …To shreds, you say.

You wouldn’t. Ask anyway! You guys realize you live in a sewer, right? I don’t want to be rescued. Bender, this is Fry’s decision… and he made it wrong. So it’s time for us to interfere in his life.

Tonight’s the night

bottles3

Rorschach would say you have a hard time relating to others. I like seafood. I’m really more an apartment person. I’m generally confused most of the time. I’m Dexter, and I’m not sure what I am. I’m going to tell you something that I’ve never told anyone before. Under normal circumstances, I’d take that as a compliment. Tell him time is of the essence. I’m doing mental jumping jacks. I am not a killer.

I never loved you

You all right, Dexter? Tell him time is of the essence. Tonight’s the night. And it’s going to happen again and again. It has to happen. Watching ice melt. This is fun.

With a warning label

tea1Son, as your lawyer, I declare y’all are in a 12-piece bucket o’ trouble. But I done struck you a deal: Five hours of community service cleanin’ up that ol’ mess you caused. You’re going to do his laundry? Say what? No! I want to live! There are still too many things I don’t own! Bender, we’re trying our best. Isn’t it true that you have been paid for your testimony?

I could if you hadn’t turned on the light and shut off my stereo. When I was first asked to make a film about my nephew, Hubert Farnsworth, I thought “Why should I?” Then later, Leela made the film. But if I did make it, you can bet there would have been more topless women on motorcycles. Roll film! Yeah, lots of people did. We need rest. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised. I just want to talk. It has nothing to do with mating. Fry, that doesn’t make sense. We don’t have a brig.

tea3Ven ve voke up, ve had zese wodies. Switzerland is small and neutral! We are more like Germany, ambitious and misunderstood! Incidentally, you have a dime up your nose. Shut up and get to the point! With a warning label this big, you know they gotta be fun! I don’t know what you did, Fry, but once again, you screwed up! Now all the planets are gonna start cracking wise about our mamas. I’ve got to find a way to escape the horrible ravages of youth. Suddenly, I’m going to the bathroom like clockwork, every three hours. And those jerks at Social Security stopped sending me checks. Now ‘I” have to pay ”them’!

I guess because my parents keep telling me to be more ladylike. As though! Five hours? Aw, man! Couldn’t you just get me the death penalty? In your time, yes, but nowadays shut up! Besides, these are adult stemcells, harvested from perfectly healthy adults whom I killed for their stemcells.

Michelle, I don’t regret

Michelle, I don’t regret this, but I both rue and lament it. All I want is to be a monkey of moderate intelligence who wears a suit… that’s why I’m transferring to business school! This opera’s as lousy as it is brilliant! Your lyrics lack subtlety. You can’t just have your characters announce how they feel. That makes me feel angry!

With gusto

And so we say goodbye to our beloved pet, Nibbler, who’s gone to a place where I, too, hope one day to go. The toilet. Wow! A superpowers drug you can just rub onto your skin? You’d think it would be something you’d have to freebase.

I feel like a jigsaw

dchair1

I’m really more an apartment person. Finding a needle in a haystack isn’t hard when every straw is computerized. You all right, Dexter? I will not kill my sister. I will not kill my sister. I will not kill my sister. I feel like a jigsaw puzzle missing a piece. And I’m not even sure what the picture should be. I feel like a jigsaw puzzle missing a piece. And I’m not even sure what the picture should be. Pretend. You pretend the feelings are there, for the world, for the people around you. Who knows? Maybe one day they will be.

dchair3I’m really more an apartment person. Rorschach would say you have a hard time relating to others. I love Halloween. The one time of year when everyone wears a mask … not just me. I’ve lived in darkness a long time. Over the years my eyes adjusted until the dark became my world and I could see. Cops, another community I’m not part of. Like a sloth. I can do that. Under normal circumstances, I’d take that as a compliment. Makes me a … scientist. I’m real proud of you for coming, bro. I know you hate funerals.

I’m thinking two circus clowns dancing. You? I’m really more an apartment person. Pretend. You pretend the feelings are there, for the world, for the people around you. Who knows? Maybe one day they will be. He taught me a code. To survive. I think he’s got a crush on you, Dex! I’ve lived in darkness a long time. Over the years my eyes adjusted until the dark became my world and I could see. Tonight’s the night. And it’s going to happen again and again. It has to happen.

Doomsday Devices

There’s one way and only one way to determine if an animal is intelligent. Dissect its brain! Stop it, stop it. It’s fine. I will ‘destroy’ you! Why yes! Thanks for noticing. No, just a regular mistake. These old Doomsday Devices are dangerously unstable. I’ll rest easier not knowing where they are. I’ve been there. My folks were always on me to groom myself and wear underpants. What am I, the pope? Large bet on myself in round one.

They make you

Is that a cooking show? I love you, buddy! So, how ’bout them Knicks? Switzerland is small and neutral! We are more like Germany, ambitious and misunderstood! Guess again. All I want is to be a monkey of moderate intelligence who wears a suit… that’s why I’m transferring to business school!

Is the Space Pope reptilian

You won’t have time for sleeping, soldier, not with all the bed making you’ll be doing. Oh sure! Blame the wizards! Why would I want to know that? No, I’m Santa Claus! When I was first asked to make a film about my nephew, Hubert Farnsworth, I thought “Why should I?” Then later, Leela made the film. But if I did make it, you can bet there would have been more topless women on motorcycles. Roll film!

Tell her

Is the Space Pope reptilian!? Also Zoidberg. Yeah, lots of people did. Then throw her in the laundry room, which will hereafter be referred to as “the brig”. As an interesting side note, as a head without a body, I envy the dead. It must be wonderful. It doesn’t look so shiny to me. The alien mothership is in orbit here. If we can hit that bullseye, the rest of the dominoes will fall like a house of cards. Checkmate. Ow, my spirit!